Some things cannot be seen differently even through change

8 08 2007

The other day I was at my aunt’s place in Edison and she looked at me and said even though I’m an adult now she can only see my as a little boy because she hadn’t seen me in fourteen or so years. “Even right now you’re drinking beer, I still can’t believe you’re drinking that bottle of beer…you will always be 10 years old to me” she said. I laughed and I remember a similar feeling when I saw our family’s old house for the first time since I was little kid…going back there a lot of what I loved most was gone. A lot of the oak trees that were in the backyard were cut down, the bridge my dad built was falling apart, my playground was gone, a new 3 car garage was built, and they painted the house.  But even though things had changed so much, I remember staring at certain spots around and I could feel my past, all the fun I had, the big birthday parties, watching the fireflies at night, not a worry in the world. It was the most peaceful and joyous time in my life and I’ve always wanted to find that feeling again. Of course, now just beginning to find my niche in the world I probably won’t have the opportunity to live such a care free life until I retire or become financially secure. In a way, it made me sad inside knowing that I would have to wait for that kind of harmony again. Perhaps, it could come sooner rather than later and that’s all I can hope for. I’ve dreamt of that day many times.  I guess it goes to show how strong memories remain in the present even after so many years , especially beautiful ones that you can’t let go.