The Red Sox must lose on purpose…

25 10 2007

I swear. This is the only way they CAN win I think, after winning 13-1 in game 1 of the World Series because I know they are promptly going to lose the next three. Boston just loves those 3-1 holes for some reason, it’ s probably some sort of Red Sox fetish. Heck, I’d say it’s their postseason game plan:

1) Humiliate the opposing team in the first game of the series. By double-digits preferably. Oh and at least let them score 1 run for pity’s sake. Let them feel good for 1/3 of an inning.

2) The opposing team is naturally going to be fired up afterwards but, hey, it’d be more of an excuse for us to lose the next 3 games. Relax, chill, break out the margaritas in the dug-out, go nuts.  David Ortiz will be flashing his Fox Sports described “Jack O’ Lantern” grin, Manny Ramirez will still have the gayest nickname in professional sports (THE MAN-RAM..god) and both Youkalis and Varitek will still look like the Brawny Man (pre-2004).

3) Wake up in the morning, get out the ice cold cans of whoop ass out of the cooler and proceed with winning games 5-7.

4) Smile, wave, on victory floats. Repeat. 

The Red Sox don’t make history….they pre-plan it.