The Red Sox must lose on purpose…

25 10 2007

I swear. This is the only way they CAN win I think, after winning 13-1 in game 1 of the World Series because I know they are promptly going to lose the next three. Boston just loves those 3-1 holes for some reason, it’ s probably some sort of Red Sox fetish. Heck, I’d say it’s their postseason game plan:

1) Humiliate the opposing team in the first game of the series. By double-digits preferably. Oh and at least let them score 1 run for pity’s sake. Let them feel good for 1/3 of an inning.

2) The opposing team is naturally going to be fired up afterwards but, hey, it’d be more of an excuse for us to lose the next 3 games. Relax, chill, break out the margaritas in the dug-out, go nuts.  David Ortiz will be flashing his Fox Sports described “Jack O’ Lantern” grin, Manny Ramirez will still have the gayest nickname in professional sports (THE MAN-RAM..god) and both Youkalis and Varitek will still look like the Brawny Man (pre-2004).

3) Wake up in the morning, get out the ice cold cans of whoop ass out of the cooler and proceed with winning games 5-7.

4) Smile, wave, on victory floats. Repeat. 

The Red Sox don’t make history….they pre-plan it.  


Some library in Fairfield, NJ

25 10 2007

So, I out of curiosity I looked up to see where the local library was in the area and I go to their website and, the first thing I notice in the left hand corner is “FREE PUBLIC LIBRARY”. Hm,  I wasn’t aware that some libraries charge you to borrow books, I thought it was always a free public resource. (Unless, they make you pay a 50 cents toll before letting you enter the library, which I wouldn’t be surprised knowing how things are runned around here…) . Or, maybe people here are just not interested in reading, a lot of times I pass by a Barnes & Noble here and there would be only a few cars in the lot, and I’m guessing most are the employees working there. So I’m thinking that by the library “advertising” itself as a free public library, they’re targeting the frugal sort that don’t even know books can be borrowed without hidden charges… and most likely because they’re illiterate to begin with.  Oh, and don’t get me started on the “Adult Crafts” (learn how to make home-made blow up dolls or erotic cakes…just kidding, actually I don’t know) and “Turn off the TV” (WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO, BESIDES WATCH TV???) events. Man, they’re fishing BIG time.