What the Heelys This?

26 04 2007

Heelys 

Just recently looked up info on this shoe/roller-skate hybrid called the Heely out of curiosity (and I wanted to know what the kid that almost ran me over in Target was wearing) and I was surprised how long they’ve been actually around. Created in 2001 by Roger Adams (native of Tacoma, WA by the way) his first prototype was actually a pair of Nikes, and using a hot butter knife he cut the heels out of them, cranked a rod through ’em and used skateboard bearings for rollers. Amazing! Sorry if I sound like I just walked out of a cave.

Then I thought about the positives and negatives about these things and how much of an impact they would have in our society:

Pros:
-Convenience. Don’t have to switch between shoes and skates/roller-blades. Now every household closet will have an extra space or two to put more useful things like more shoes.
-Instead of running away from somebody you can roll away as fast as you can… that is unless your pursuer has heelys too then you’re screwed.
-Motivates kids to do something outside instead of sitting around indoors doing useless things like playing video games and studying .
-Accessible to everyone, there are no weight restrictions (oddly) whatsoever.
-They look like ordinary street shoes…it’s not like moon-shoes where people can see how much of a total freak you are.
-It’s a fad. People like them.

Cons:
-It’s  a pair of Vans with wheels in them. The novelty probably wears thin after 10 minutes of gliding in circles after realizing every mall, store, school, and every other public place has banned the use of them.
-Heelys will cause a generation of  children to eventually lose their ability to use their legs.
-Walking to rolling involves just shifting your weight. I don’t know exactly how that works but what I picture is a kid accidentally rolling off an edge of a cliff while leaning or bending over. Can that happen?
-Yes! Actually no, but there’s a story of 12 year-old boy who got hit by a car while rolling in a pair of these in London. He now has permanent brain damage. Yikes.
-Heelys for Adults. I have never seen and I don’t think I ever will see a grown adult wear a pair. And when I say adult I mean over 16 years-old. 
-Roller skates, Roller Blades, and Skate Rinks will become obsolete. Oh wait, they already are.
 
Hm, to sum it up Heely is something that you’d think “Hey, I could’ve thought of something like that” but at the same time it’s so mundane almost to the “wth” point. Or perhaps I’m jealous of this multi-million dollar idea…

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